


When nations are on shrooms

by Millie333



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Anime-like, Crazy, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 17:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millie333/pseuds/Millie333
Summary: One late night, the Axis and the Allies decided to go out drinking at the bar...And then...





	1. Chapter 1

One late night,

At a random pub in Germany...

-...So...Can someone tell me why are we here, again...?-England said in an eerily quiet voice, as he looked at the huge glass of rum in his hand.- Do we not have more important things to do than to be drinking at a bar?!

-Oh, Angleterre~ Why are you so mad about our little go out?-France said in a surprised and slightly confused voice, as he was drinking wine.-I thought you loved getting yourself drunk all the time~

- **That is an outrageous lie**!-England yelled in indignation, almost dropping the glass on the ground.- **I DO NOT LOVE GETTING MYSELF DRUNK YOU BLOODY FROG!**

 **-...** Yet you always get yourself drunk and start crying all over the place while spouting nonsense... **-** America said in a quiet voice, as he drank a cocktail made of coke mixed with beer.-...Admit it, Iggy, you can't hold your liquor to save your life and you never could...

There were a few seconds of silence,

As England was done drinking his rum...

- **W-WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME, YOU BLOODY WANKER?!** -England yelled in rage, already intoxicated.- **HOW DARE YOU UTTER SUCH LIES ABOUT ME YOU UNGRATEFUL PRAT! WAS IT NOT I WHO RAISED YOU AND TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING YOU KNOW?! HOW COULD YOU SHAME ME IN SUCH A WAY...?!**

He yelled madly as America and France tried to calm him down,

And before long it turned into a very loud scene...

-Ayah! Why are they so loud!-China yelled in annoyance, as he started to bash his head on the table.-Why are those western countries always so immature!

-Now, now, Kitay, it's not so bad~- Russia sing-sang happily, while drinking some vodka right from the bottle.-This whole thing is so amusing to watch~

He added in an eerie voice,

As the arguing continued...

-...Shut up you Arschfotze Angebers and start acting like adults for once!-Germany suddenly yelled in rage, almost dropping his beer mug. Even now they were giving him a headache! Were they actually kindergarten children?!-...Japan, can you explain to those Dummkopfs why are we here?

There were a few seconds of silence...

-...H-hai, Doitsu-san.-Japan said in a sheepish voice, a little nervous that the attention turned to him. And he had such a good time quietry drinking some sake and minding his own business...-...We actuarry went here to rerax after the author kept putting us in pretty..."Probrematic" situations...

-Like her last fanfic, where Canada and Iggy were murdered by the 2Ps and I went batshit crazy, like some kind of insane asylum escapee or the Joker!-America said, in annoyance.-Why does she keep writing so much angst and tragedy about us?! Doesn't she have trouble having to write them all the fucking time?!

-...That's why she decided to write this fanfic...-Japan said, in a serious voice.-...Even thought the titre rooks a rittre...Unevering...-He mumbled to himself, in a slightly scared voice. What was Mirrie-san pranning to write...? What crazy situations was she pranning to put them in...? Considering she rikes watching anime...Why did he and his peopre made them so "over-the-top" anyway...?! And the authoress read some...Unusuar fanfiction ratery, as werr...They were "in for a ride"...-...She arso wants to unwind a rittre from writing tragedy, from RR probrems and the thought that the readers don't rike her fanfics...

There were a few seconds of silence...

-Wait, what?-America said, in a confused voice.-But, I thought that people read her fanfics! Doesn't the last have one more than 500 views?!

-Hai, it currentry has 805 views...-Japan said, in a serious voice. He was very serious about those types of things...And food...Food was very important...-There are just armost no reviews on most of her fanfics, if there are any reviews at arr, so she doesn't know if they are actuarry riked or if peopre read them just because they courdn't find anything erse to read...

-...Oh, now I see how it is...-America said in a serious voice, as he was done drinking. The cocktail was a lot tastier that he thought it would be...-Barmen, get me another Cocktail with the same ingredients!

-...I am very sorry, herr Amerika, but it seems that we are currently out of Coca-Cola. -The bartender explained, in an apologizing voice. -I could check if there is any Coca-Cola in the back. Can you wait a few minutes until I return?

-Yeah, you do that.-America said in a cherry voice, as he and France stroked England's hair, who somehow fell asleep.- I can wait a few more minutes until your done!

-Danke schön, herr Amerika.-The bartender said, in a grateful voice. -I will get back to you shortly.

He promised,

As he went to the back room...

-...Have a nice evening "Liebe Gäste"~-The bartender said in an amused voice, as stared to take off his wig(!) and eye contacts(!).-They never noticed that it was the awesome me who was serving them!-He continued amusingly, with his red eyes shining mischievously. -And they didn't notice that the awesome me have awesomely spiked their drinks!-He continued, as he took out a video camera.-I am going to awesomely videotape them and use it as awesome blackmail! KESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESESE!


	2. Chapter 2

A long while later,

In the middle of a huge field,

Between two opposing armies...

-H-hic! W-what do...Y-you know...H-hic!-England stuttered, as he could barely hold his star wand.-I-I really...H-hic! T-telepa…T-telepe...-He continued, too drunk and high to talk straight.-...R-ratad...H-hic! Y-you blodes...W-wahterg...H-hic! T-to the...L-lorde of the...H-hic! R-ringes…! H-hic!

He barely managed to stutter,

Before completely losing his balance,

And falling to the ground with a loud thud...

-V-veeeeeeee~ P-pastaaaaa!-Italy sing-sang happily, as he started running around the place like a chicken.-A-a field of pastaaaa! V-veeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

- **STOP RUNNING IN CIRCLES, YOU DUMMKOPF!** \- Germany yelled in annoyance, as he was running after Italy.- **THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT WAY TO RUN!**

-...This prace rooks interesting...But it racks Mechas...And magicar girrs...And ninjas...-Japan mumbled in a serious and slightly unnerving voice, as he was looking around the place in interest.-...And Echi...And fighting boobs...And naked roris...And tentacres...And hentai...And a massive group org...

- **AYAH**!-China suddenly yelled in complete rage, as he started bashing his head on a random troll (Poor troll...).- **NI ZENME LE, RIBEN?! NI GAN ZENME LE?!**

 **-** HAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS PLACE ROCKS! IT HAS MONSTERS TO FIGHT AND PEOPLE TO SAVE!-America was laughing hysterically, as he ran around the place and poked everything and everyone(!) he could, before making one of his "heroic poses".-I AM GOING TO MAKE IT INTO ANOTHER OF MY STATES!

-Bonjour, ma belle~-France was flirting with Legolas, who was confused by the sudden shift in time and space and slightly uncomfortable by the unusual strangers' appearance and behavior. -Voulez-vous avoir un bebe avec moi? Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohon~

He said before laughing perversely,

As Legolas started to slowly back away...

-This is so fun~-Russia sing-sang happily as he looked at everyone's antics, seemingly unaffected by whatever Prussia put into his drink.-We all should go out drinking more often~

He sing-sang before smiling evilly,

Plotting to manufacture a "Dope Rain",

Make it rain above the whole world and get...

-WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE PEOPLE?! HOW DID THEY GET HERE?!- Aragorn suddenly yelled, in complete shock about the whole situation. And why did he feel so strange, like he was not really himself anymore...? Was that the strangers' fault...?-AND WHAT IN THE NAME OF ERU IS WRONG WITH THEM?!

There was silence for a few seconds...

-...They appear to be powerful creatures, who teleported here from another dimension...-Gandalf the white said in a serious voice, as he observed the nations. They felt human, but at the same time they did not...-...But...Well...-He continued, in an unsure voice. How can he explain something he was not sure of himself...?-...They appear to be under some type of a vile curse...?

He said in a confused voice,

Wondering if he was also cursed...

-...How come we are already here, if we were on a boat just a few moments ago...?- Halbarad suddenly asked in complete confusion, as he went to Gandalf the white's side. Did they just get teleported in...? Who could have done it anyway...?-...And why do I feel like I am not really myself anymore...?

He asked in a sheepish voice,

Somehow feeling the OOCness in the air...


	3. Chapter 3

Five minutes later,

That somehow felt like a week...

-...Then, they destroyed the city...-A random person was telling in a glumy voice, not noticing that he was under the OOC virus.-...They looted everything they could get their hands on, even the yearly wheat an...

- **THEY ATE MY PASTA?!** -Italy suddenly yelled in complete rage as he stopped running and took out his "gangsta rifles", holding one in each hand. THOSE BASTARDOS! THEY DARE EAT HIS PASTA! - **HOW DARE YOU EAT MY PASTA?! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!**

He yelled in unstoppable rage,

As he started to madly shoot the monsters...

-...B-bloode heell...H-hic!- England stuttered as he started to wobble up from the ground, with his star wand somehow still sticking to his hand.-...I-I am gooote...H-hic! S-show thosa...H-hic! T-the mihgghe...H-hic! O-of the Breeeethes...H-hic! E-emparre…!

England blurted as he tried to shoot the monsters with his wand,

But his aim was off and he made everything and everyone "UTTERLY BONKERS!"...

- **WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS MADNESS?!** -Suddenly yelled a grey company member in annoyance and rage, as the OOC virus was getting a tight hold on him. - **WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING SHIT?!**

He yelled in complete madness as he saw that,

The sky became pink while the earth turned yellow,

Rainbow colored mushrooms were hovering above the ground,

And it started heavily raining brown droplets of milk chocolate...

-...It appears that one of the otherworld ones screw up the fabric of space and time...?-Gandalf the white assumed, in a surprised and serious voice. Maybe all of them were cursed...He hoped the fabric of space and time was not screwed up complete...Never mind...It was already screwed up completely...

Gandalf the white thought in frustration just as...

A bunch of red eyed gNOMeS appeared and started to madly massacre the monsters, who for some reason started a chant of **"HATE! KILL! DESTROY!",** while their faces turned into those of murderers, terrorists and hate groups' members...

Death eater Ron appeared and he was "so sexist" that he hurled Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Tara Way into a horde of orcs, who then ran away while yelling in complete and utter horror...

Ten mutant bees appeared, that were somehow caught on fire that spelt a letter on each of them, which together read as "Jim Pickens"…

A strange sneevil, who was actually Ziri from AQW, appeared and started wishing for different things while madly yelling at the air...

Voldemort appeared dressed as a clown, with a beak and a pink mustache on his face, while eating cookie dough...

Neil Breen appeared and was stalking and harassing Eowyn, until she kicked him in his **CENSORED** , hard...

-HAHAHAHAHAHA! IGGY MADE EVERYTHING REALLY FUNNY!-America suddenly laughed hysterically, as he took out a bunch of grenades. -ALL IT LACKS NOW IS SOME AMERICAN FREEDOM FIREWORKS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

He laughed as he started trowing the grenades at the enemy flank...

- **STIRB! STIRB! STIRB, FLACHWICHSER!** -Germany suddenly yelled in rage, as he took out a long and a very spiky whip and started to whip bloody every monster he could get his hands on. - **GEH ZUM TEUFEL, DIE SAU! ARSCHGESICHT!**

-...This rooks rearry interesting~ ^o^ Maybe I shourd join Amerika-san and Doitsu-san...? ?_?-Japan suddenly wondered in a serious and slightly eerie voice, before smiling crazily. He had such a nice idea~ WWWW~-...Come to me, tentacre-san! Ret us **CENSORED, CENSORED** and **CENSORED** some monsters together~ ^.^~

He said as an army of tentacles appeared,

And one of them turned into a crawling chair,

Which Japan sat in and marched his "army" into battle...

…

Starting to do different R21 things to the poor monsters...

...

- **Ayah! Riben, Bie zai gangale!** -China yelled in annoyance and rage, as he somehow summoned some flying snakes and hovering blankets. - **BIE ZAI GANGALE!**

He yelled as he started shooting finger lasers to the monsters' knees,

While his "allies" started to bite and squeeze them bloody...

-...Everyone is having so much fun~-Russia started to sing-song happily, as he took out his "magical pipe of pain".-I should also join the fun, da...?

He said in a creepy voice,

Before starting to bash monsters bloody...

-...Eh, should we join them...?-A random non-nation person asked awkwardly, as he tried to ignore the craziness around him.-It's our fight after all, right...?

-...You are right.-Gandalf the white said in a serious voice, as he took out his sword from it's sheath.-This is our battle, not the outsiders' (No matter how crazy they are...)!

He said before yelling a battle cry,

And marching the army into battle...

...

-...Oh, pauvre vous! -France suddenly said in a sad voice, as he looked at some dead allies.-Ne tinquietes pas, frere France va vous aider!

He said as he took his clothes off,

And started to revive people with **CENSORED**...

...

-...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! IT'S A HUGE EVIL SHINY RED EYE GLUED TO TWO LONG STICKS!-America suddenly yelled, as he noticed the eye of Sauron judging everyone from the distance.-I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU THE HEROIC POWER OF THE AMERICAN WAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

He yelled happily as he shoot it with a rocket launcher,

Destroying it completely in all of his American glory!

…

0_o

...

0_o o_0

...

0_o 0_0 o_0

...

0_o o_0 0_o 0_0 o_0 0_o o_0

...

Everyone who was not a nation and/or high were struck speechless,

Unable to comprehend the things that recently transpired,

And wondering if they became utterly mad...


End file.
